I
This will be the first movement
Take the stage with a humble bow
Look at the concertmaster with blue eyes she can trust
Gently tap your baton to the ictus
You'll want to keep the pulse steady like a clock
Keep the melody sweet and proud
II
This one will heat up
You might have to take off your tailcoat
Lift your hands higher, higher
Until the choir sounds like heaven
Think Handel's "Messiah"
And butterflies in your tummy
You must depart from the podium
In favor of the percussion section
Come backstage
Ring my body like a bell
III
This will be the most romantic of waltzes
The audience will begin to yawn
There is nothing you can do about it
Aunt Nancy will whisper in the front row
"This guy's no Bernstein"
But the crowd will be patient
During this unstylish dance
IV
Now this is the movement
where you will fall apart
As the cellos ignore your frantically waving hands
A double bass will lose its endpin
And the splintering wood will come crashing to the stage
The melody here will be your scream
As you obliterate the choir
As you toss the baton
Aiming for a clarinetist's eye
Yes this is when the crowd might begin to stand up
And say "let's go to the movies."